I have a horde of gelatinous muck that is beginning to besiege and devour my kitchen. Someone is supposed to be fixing it, but I'm pretty sure that after it tried to eat him, he pretended that another tenant's toilet was broken and needed immediate repair.

What a strange conglomeration of things I have to present today... including a tutorial on how to masturbate an elephant. I'm NOT kidding.

Let's begin with the recommendations:

I must admit, as soon as I found it, I became a follower.

Zombies are dangerous. Have you talked to your kids about what to do in case of a Zombocalypse?
Don't get caught unprepared, have YOUR undead survival strategy practised and ready-to-go! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Here are a few song lyrics I am using as quotes for today:
"...I am a weapon of massive consumption, And its not my fault it’s how I’m programmed to function. I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror; I’m on the right track, yeah we're on to a winner."
    Lili Allen, from The Fear
and this bit from the movie Garden State (2004):

"I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, it's life. It’s real, and sometimes it fuckin’ hurts, but it's sort of all we have."
    Garden State

Now, your promised, semi-educational videos:

Trailer for the upcoming horror movie Altitude

A rare example of color film from the 1920's, via WordTravels:

And... How to Masturbate an Elephant.


Well, I suppose that's about enough for today.


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